- I procrastinate like no one's business, and
- I'm bad at accepting help.
The fact is, when M and I first got engaged I spent all my time looking for venues, pricing caterers, oogling photographers... and 4 months later, only one vendor has been booked. It was past time to get serious, but I was still stalling. Part of it was bitterness because a few vendors I liked didn't work out (more on that later) and part of it was just bridal brain exhaustion. Too many decisions and too many options meant I just didn't care anymore.
|It was a little like this. [src]|
|All images (c) Bill and Mendy Wolfe|
That's where helper #2 comes in.... my very own husband-to-be. A lot of brides complain that their fiancés "don't do anything to help out with the wedding." I'm no exception - I started venting to M last night using those exact same words. It started out with a whine about how I was three weeks late calling a caterer and how much I hate phone calls, and devolved into me ranting about why I had to do all this stuff anyway, and couldn't he take the initiative to help out? Maybe it was unfair, but it felt true to my stressed out brain.
Thankfully, what could have been a bad argument turned into a reasonable discussion about what exactly he could take off my plate. He told me he felt like I had "secret bride criteria" regarding every decision and that he didn't know how to be that picky. When it came to picking a photographer with a good portfolio, he was clueless. On the other hand, something that felt stressful to me, like talking to a caterer about what we could afford and what meal options were available, was totally up his alley. Once we established that we were on the same page regarding catering needs (and that I didn't have any secret formula to decide which is better, Eggplant Parmesan or Three-cheese Tortellini) he took over the task.
And just like that, the two things stressing me out the most were shared between my two biggest supporters. It feels good to not micro-manage every decision. And even though there are probably great photographers that I'll never see because they don't make it onto sister Toshella's list, or catering details we won't pursue because M doesn't see them as important, the most important thing is that these decisions are manageable again and we can finally make some forward progress.