Wednesday, June 15, 2011

I get by with a little help from my friends

If you've been following along so far, you know this much about me: 
  • I procrastinate like no one's business, and 
  • I'm bad at accepting help.
That does not bode well for wedding planning, does it?
The fact is, when M and I first got engaged I spent all my time looking for venues, pricing caterers, oogling photographers... and 4 months later, only one vendor has been booked.  It was past time to get serious, but I was still stalling.  Part of it was bitterness because a few vendors I liked didn't work out (more on that later) and part of it was just bridal brain exhaustion.  Too many decisions and too many options meant I just didn't care anymore.

It was a little like this.  [src]
Luckily, I have some pretty awesome people in my corner.  When I confessed to my MOH, sister Toshella, how much trouble I was having finding a photographer and how they were all starting to blur together, she immediately volunteered to head up the search.  She's the most budget-conscious person I know and has great taste - after all, she hired these amazing photographers for her wedding in New Orleans:

All images (c) Bill and Mendy Wolfe
However, even with MOH S finding photographers in my price range and organizing them in a spreadsheet with price and comments, I was still overwhelmed by taking charge of contacting them, setting up meetings, and making a choice on top of everything else I had to do.  Yikes. 

That's where helper #2 comes in.... my very own husband-to-be.  A lot of brides complain that their fiancés "don't do anything to help out with the wedding."  I'm no exception - I started venting to M last night using those exact same words.  It started out with a whine about how I was three weeks late calling a caterer and how much I hate phone calls, and devolved into me ranting about why I had to do all this stuff anyway, and couldn't he take the initiative to help out?  Maybe it was unfair, but it felt true to my stressed out brain.

Thankfully, what could have been a bad argument turned into a reasonable discussion about what exactly he could take off my plate.  He told me he felt like I had "secret bride criteria" regarding every decision and that he didn't know how to be that picky.  When it came to picking a photographer with a good portfolio, he was clueless.  On the other hand, something that felt stressful to me, like talking to a caterer about what we could afford and what meal options were available, was totally up his alley.  Once we established that we were on the same page regarding catering needs (and that I didn't have any secret formula to decide which is better, Eggplant Parmesan or Three-cheese Tortellini) he took over the task.

And just like that, the two things stressing me out the most were shared between my two biggest supporters.  It feels good to not micro-manage every decision.  And even though there are probably great photographers that I'll never see because they don't make it onto sister Toshella's list, or catering details we won't pursue because M doesn't see them as important, the most important thing is that these decisions are manageable again and we can finally make some forward progress.


1 comment:

  1. I still need to book a photographer! I keep telling myself to get started, and well.. it hasn't happened yet. Although your sister's photographer might be a great idea (since I am in Louisiana). I'm guessing she was a fan, since you referred to them as amazing right?